Buying Property Together

It's tough for a couple to buy a house. It's even tougher when they're not married.

When qualifying for a loan, mortgage companies refuse to look at any unmarried couple - straight or gay - as having joint assets. Instead, they're seen as two separate individuals buying a house together. It doesn't matter if they have proof of their commitment, such as wills, trusts or jointly owned property.

From a legal standpoint, getting both names on the deed is critical if they're to share ownership.

"Women especially are leaving themselves unprotected," says Jared Laskin, a Los Angeles attorney at Goldman & Kagon Law Corp. "They are not demanding that their names be included on the house title."

Instead, he says, there's a tendency for a woman to believe her boyfriend when he says the house is really half hers. When the couple splits, the reality can be far different.

Making a Plan

Besides including both names on the title, a couple should decide what happens if one person dies. It's depressing to think about, but it's vital to not leave the survivor out in the cold.

Many people choose "joint tenancy with the right of survivorship," which means the surviving partner gets sole ownership of the house. While this title makes transferring property easy, it could result in some heavy taxes if the house is worth a lot.

Another option is "tenants in common" or "partners in a partnership." If one person dies, that person's will determines what happens to his or her share. If there's no will, it will most likely go to the closest relative.

Liz Winfeld and her partner Susan Spielman had to deal with the hassle. When the couple bought their first house together in Massachusetts, not being married added to the stress and hassle.

"Susan ended up qualifying, but I didn't," she says. So Susan put the deed in her name. Once she took possession of the property, they met with an attorney to re-issue the deed with both their names on the title.

"Everyone acts like gays want the right to marry so that we can get dressed up, have a fancy ceremony and register at Macy's," says Winfeld, a workplace consultant and author. "It's not. It's all about getting the same legal and financial protection that married couples have." 

Unmarried couples have to take extra steps to get the legal protection that married couples automatically get, whether it involves buying a house or writing a will. If they don't, it could be a recipe for leaving a partner bereft.

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